Emotionally Safe Marriage

» Posted in Marriage and Relationships | 0 comments


All of us are designed by God to have strong and secure attachments to people we love. From the time that we are conceived, we are being shaped by our attachment relationships. We develop a sense of safety and security from these important relationships. These are questions of ATTACHMENT – this isn’t about STEPS you take to be closer to your spouse, but it’s more about “ways of being” with your spouse. These qualities mean that you are someone with whom your spouse can feel safe and secure.

An emotionally safe marriage is one in which you feel safe enough to say what you feel, knowing that your spouse will respect or at least attempt to understand your point of view. You feel confident that at the end of an argument, you can come back together and re-establish your emotional connection and warmth.  To find out more about the three essential ingredients to a safe marriage, watch the video below.

Regardless of the current health of your marriage, please know that if there’s physical, sexual or emotional abuse, there can never be safety. The damage that has been done has to be dealt with before you can even try to move towards emotional safety with your spouse. It also requires BOTH partners to be willing to move forward, and if you don’t believe that your spouse is safe for you right now, then you need to take steps to protect yourself and get some help to navigate through this difficult challenge. Please reach out for support and help for your own (and perhaps your kids’) well-being and safety.


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