Parenting Principles

» Posted in Family Life, Parenting | 0 comments


When I talk to parents about their kids, it often seems like their focus is on external indicators of “right” behaviour. They will ask me for help in changing their kids’ behaviour, or disciplining tips to get them to be well-behaved. I know that they love their kids, but I think they are looking at the wrong things to change.

The truth is how kids turn out is far more dependent on what’s going on inside their hearts than on their outside behaviour. That means that as a parent, my capacity to connect with my kids’ hearts is more important than just the rules I set and how I discipline them. Our job as parents is to ultimately help our kids internalize a sense of security that is rooted in their capacity to love others and receive love from other people. With that sense of attachment and security, our kids will be able to explore, try new challenges, face difficulties, set tough personal goals and become effective influencers of others.

That means that my choice to focus on their emotional needs with empathy, be a safe person for them to come to with their problems, accept how God has wired them with delight, model the love of Jesus Christ for them, and treasure the gifts that they are, is far more powerful than anything I can teach them or discipline them to do.

For more sound parenting principles, watch this video.  And if you have specific questions about your kids, feel free to contact me for more information.


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