Short Stories: Living with Dissociative Identity Disorder

» Posted in Mental Health, Personal Growth, Trauma and Abuse | 24 comments

dissociative identity disorder

The story below was submitted by a reader and edited for this blog.  Many thanks to this courageous reader who was willing to share a bit of her story with us through this fictionalized account.

Rachel sat in the waiting room of the psychologist’s office, ready to bolt. This is crazy! What was I thinking to come here?

 As she sat waiting anxiously, Rachel started to have that strange feeling again — that feeling where she was seeing things happen to her without actually being a part of them, like an observer watching her body and mind being controlled by someone else. She knew that sounded totally crazy, and there was no way she could share that with the doctor! In fact, there were a lot of things she wasn’t going to tell her, like how often she could hear people having conversations about her life inside her head. No way! If I shared that with the doctor, she would probably send me to the hospital and lock me up!

Rachel glanced at her watch and all of a sudden she was present again. The doctor was running about 5 minutes late. The familiar sense of panic began to set in.  I knew this was a bad idea!  I never wanted to come anyway, but Lord, I’m so desperate for help! I don’t know what’s wrong with me but I can’t keep going on this way.  And now with this doctor running late….the panic began to rise.  I can’t breathe!  Get me out of here. No, no, you can do it, keep it together! Don’t let anyone see what’s going on. As Rachel stood up to escape, the doctor walked out into the waiting room. Damn it! Caught before she could take off.

“Rachel?  Great to meet you, my name is Janet, I’m really sorry for being a few minutes late.” Sensing Rachel’s anxiety, Dr. Jones took a few minutes to put her at ease, chatting casually as they walked into the doctor’s office. The rest of the session was a blur, as Rachel fought to stay present and act like everything was normal.  Rachel felt like she was just babbling, trying to keep the doctor from seeing what was going on. She finally made her escape when the doctor stood up to indicate that the session was over.  Even as she made an appointment for the following week, Rachel wasn’t sure if she would ever go back. Who was she kidding?

Over the course of the next week, the debate raged inside Rachel’s head. There were several times when she had picked up the phone to cancel her next appointment, but something was compelling her, drawing her to go back. And now seven days later here she was, sitting in that chair again.   But once again, the session was a blur, talking about things that didn’t really matter, afraid to let down her guard in case the doctor thought she was crazy.

 ——

I don’t know why I keep coming. I still haven’t told Janet what’s really going on. She’s been really nice so far, but can I trust her?  After several weeks of seeing the doctor, Rachel sat waiting for the therapist with her mind racing. She was particularly nervous for some reason this week, and had noticed a lot of her “odd” behaviours and symptoms seemed to be surfacing.  Even as she sat waiting, Rachel had to remind herself not to scratch a patch on her arm raw from the unrelenting anxiety.

 Dr. Jones seemed to sense that something was different this time around because she didn’t start with the small talk as before, but rather suggested they take a few deep breaths together.  Then the doctor asked the question that Rachel had been dreading for so long yet secretly had been waiting for, because she desperately hoped that by finally being honest, she might be able to get some help to make sense of her life.

“Rachel, we’ve been meeting together now for several weeks and I hope you are beginning to feel a little more comfortable here. I was hoping that we might be able to talk today about what has brought you here to therapy. Do you think you could share with me a little bit more about that?”

Rachel took a deep breath and grabbed her coffee cup to prevent herself from going into a full blown panic attack, hoping that it would quiet the overwhelming surge of voices in her head, all fighting to be heard. Dr. Jones, sensing her distress, said encouragingly, “You can share anything here and it will be kept strictly confidential. I know it’s hard to open up, but I really want to hear your story.” That reassurance seemed to be exactly what Rachel needed.

“Well, I guess I’m here because I don’t know what to do anymore. I’ve been dealing with some really difficult things for a long time. Lately, things have just started to unravel. Weird things have been happening to me and I feel like I’m losing control of my life.  I just don’t know how to handle things anymore. My doctor recently diagnosed me with depression and anxiety and put me on medication for that, but it’s not really helping all that much. I kind of feel like I’m at the end of my rope.”

“You mentioned that weird things happening recently,” Dr. Jones commented. “Can you tell me more?”

Rachel’s heart started racing, and she began gulping in deep breaths.  Peering up at her doctor’s kind face, she quickly looked back down. I can do this. I have to tell her! I can’t do this on my own anymore.  Without looking up, Rachel began speaking very quietly, voice shaking.

“Sometimes… I can be talking to someone and all of a sudden I get this really weird far away and foggy feeling…like I am way back in my head somewhere…The next thing I know I’ll “come back”, but things just aren’t right. For instance, I’ll be in the house doing housework, then the next thing I know I’m back in the house but three hours have passed and there are grocery bags on the counter, but I don’t remember going to the store. One time I all of a sudden was sitting on my couch and I realized my ankle was hurting like crazy and I looked down and I had a cast on it! But I couldn’t remember getting hurt.

“I’ll get this odd sensation like I’m in my body, but I’m not “me”…like I’m behind someone looking through their eyes, or I’ll look at my hands touching something and know that it’s me, but it’s someone else’s hands that are touching the object. Or I’ll hear myself having a conversation with someone but I don’t know how because I’m not talking.

“I have nightmares and flashbacks. Sometimes I see pictures of things in my head that are familiar yet I don’t know what they are or where they are from. Other times, sights, sounds, smells, they’ll send me into a panic and scare me silly, but I don’t know why. They always seem familiar but again, for no reason. And sometimes, and I know this will make me sound completely nuts, but sometimes I’ll hear voices, two, three…having a conversation and I’m listening to it…only the voices are having a conversation inside my head, but I’m not a part of it.

“Stuff like this, well, it’s been happening my whole life. And up until a while ago I managed to cope with it pretty well, you know, I developed ways to cover up dealing with people who knew me that I didn’t seem to know, and I managed to create explanations for why I suddenly had groceries or a new item of clothing that I couldn’t remember buying.  I just faked my way through life, you know?”

Rachel finally looked up, tears streaming down her face. “Can you please help me understand what’s happening to me? Am I crazy? Please tell me honestly, because I’d rather know and deal with it than continue living my life like this. I just can’t do it anymore. For the first time I can remember, I’m really scared. I don’t know what to do anymore.”

Dr. Jones looked compassionately at Rachel and spoke very gently, “I’m so sorry to hear about how much you’ve been struggling. You must have felt so alone.” Rachel nodded shakily as Dr. Jones continued, “Thank you for your courage to be honest with me, Rachel. I don’t want you to feel alone dealing with these symptoms, so I’m glad you’ve told me what’s going on for you so I can help you.  And no, you’re not crazy, I have a feeling your mind is trying very hard to deal with trauma that’s happened in your life, and it’s just coping the best way it can right now.”

At the word “trauma”, Rachel stiffened and a visible shudder ran through her body. The tears continued streaming down her face, and that was when it happened, one of those weird things Rachel had hoped wouldn’t happen while she was here with her doctor. As Dr. Jones was asking her questions Rachel felt the like the room was getting more and more distant…things were fading and her head felt fuzzy and distant….

“Daddy says we can’t talk about dat cause I could get a whoopin’. He says bad men will take me away from him cause Mommy went to heaven so I can’t say nuthin’.” Right before Dr. Jones eyes, Rachel slumped back into the couch and sat cross legged. She started to nervously pick at the sore on her arm, scratching as she talked.

As she continued talking in a high-pitched lisp, Dr. Jones reached for a squeeze ball on her desk and handed it to Rachel, who took it and started playing with it.  “Rachel,” she coaxed gently, “Rachel, please come back. Listen to the sound of my voice, and feel the squeeze ball in her hand. Feel the rubbery spikes on the ball and just let my voice bring you back.”

Rachel found herself coming out of the fog that had enveloped her brain so suddenly. The distant feeling she had had the moment before was fading and she again was able to focus on the fact that she was sitting in the doctor’s office. For some reason though, she couldn’t remember anything that she and Dr. Jones had been talking about before her space-out happened. Even more startling to her was the realization that she was holding a squeeze toy in her hands, and she couldn’t remember how it got there.

Panic rose up inside of her and she caught her breath…not this again! Not here! With hands that shook slightly, Rachel reached over and put the squeeze toy on the therapist’s desk. “I’m sorry,” Rachel said, “Um, I seem to have forgotten your question. Would you mind repeating it?”

 The therapist took a deep breath herself and carefully considered how to explain her diagnosis. “Rachel, have you ever heard of Dissociative Identity Disorder?”

——

Does this sound like you or someone you know? Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID) haunts more people than we realize, and because there are often “lost moments” in a sufferer’s life, it can be a terrifying and isolating way to live.  If this is you, please reach out for help. There truly is hope for you.

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24 Comments

  1. Thank you so much for this gripping and beautiful story. I hope to share it with some loved ones.

  2. Thank you for making me feel better and realising that I am not the only one living through this nightmare!
    You have described my symptoms down to a tee and even though I have had numerous councelling sessions and are due some more, I am no closer to slaying the demons in my head.

    • Hi Candice,

      I’m so sorry to hear that you’re suffering from DID symptoms but I’m glad my blog has brought you some comfort. This is not something people talk about openly because of a sense of shame, so sufferers often feel all alone and “crazy” but there are many people who struggle with this. I’m really glad you’ve been seeking out counselling as that is so key to healing, especially if you can find a therapist who’s experienced in treating DID. I hope you’ll continue your journey of healing and also give yourself tons of grace as healing often takes a long time. Perseverance, courage, patience and hope are needed to keep you going forward but please know that it is so worth it to continue. Don’t give up and remember to celebrate the many baby steps forward you take in your journey. I know you may have some bad days (maybe more than you sometimes feel like you can cope with) but your courage to keep going forward is part of what makes you someone admirable and ultimately, someone of great compassion and grace.

  3. I am 64 years old and have just recently become aware of symptoms of DID. I have not been diagnosed but I have recently experienced an alter showing up and realized it explained things that happened years ago. I am terrified of this disorder and feel abnormal. My counselor is just beginning to help me with this and yet I don’t really see any hope or answers. I feel very alone with my others.

    • Hi Gabby,

      I’m so sorry to hear of your struggles. It’s very normal to feel afraid as this disorder is not something people often talk about. And for sufferers of DID, it can feel like a loss of control to have alters show up. Because this condition is often shrouded in feelings of shame and fear, many times, people don’t talk about their symptoms or suffering, which only exacerbates that feeling of aloneness. My heart hurts for you, especially with your feelings of isolation and fear, but I’m glad you’re seeking counseling. Please know that there is hope and healing, and choose to persist with your counseling. For many sufferers, it can often take years of psychotherapy because the trauma underlying the condition is often deep-rooted. Don’t give up on yourself, Gabby, you’re so worth continuing the fight to forge ahead with courage and perseverance.

  4. I relate to ALL of the above! it is so hard finding a therapist who cares enough to listen to my concerns. I have ptsd and a severe history of sexual abuse neglect and abandonment. my mom and brother often state that I have alters showing up at times of stress or anxiety, especially a child! when I recently tried to enroll for college I felt my core self shrinking inwardly into a black tunnel and the little girl began to talk and think for me. I had no control over this event6 and needless to say, my ability to go to school has been questioned by all involved including me. my memory is garbage, my anxiety is through the roof, I cant concentrate long enough to wash the dishes and I am drowning daily in madness and confusion. I want my pain to end and have now decided to leave my therapist and receive treatment with a Doctor who specializes in DID. as a little girl my sex abuse became so bad I suffered yeast infections and utis for months, ear infections, flashbacks, peed on myself, became mute for several months then developed a stuttering problem, anorexia, the list goes on and on. with all of this trauma and no support other than my mother who knows, how can I get better?

    • I am so very sorry to hear about your struggles. My heart aches for all you’ve gone through, and all the resulting pain, confusion and chaos. I would absolutely encourage you to find a therapist who’s experienced in treating DID. This is not something you want to do alone. The focus in therapy should be on teaching you skills to ground yourself when emotionally triggered, coupled with trauma therapy, all within a safe, consistent, caring therapeutic relationship. Look for someone who is patient and will walk with you through the long haul. And perhaps you can find a local support group for trauma survivors. Even so, please give yourself the space and grace to heal, as this will take a long time to work through the trauma of all you’ve endured. For many clients with DID, it can be years of therapy, but please don’t give up! You’re worth it! Feel free to email me directly through the contact form if you have any other questions for me.

  5. I struggle with DID. Sometimes my inside voices are so loud I can’t hear what people say around. It’s like I hear it but it’s muffled by so many thoughts. Sometimes it feels like I fight to stay in my own body. Fight to stay awake and conscious because if you let go you go into darkness like you’re being temporarily filed away in your own brain left with just your own thoughts to keep you company. You know you have people there but you can’t speak. Cant express the fear that if you relax a moment in your life you could lose control and wind up in this place again. Not knowing what your mouth is speaking while you’re locked out of front consciousness and put way in the back barely there but there enough to put on a confident face. When really you just wanna cry. I know I’m a good person I’m not scared I’m gonna do anything bad but that fear of not being in control your words your feelings your thoughts your expressions your perception. It all changes in the blink of an eye. Like time lapses of blurs you can’t quite make out. It’s so complicated I can barely describe it but I wish I could. Because although it can be scary and exhausting it is also beautiful. The way the you can hold yourself together so well , how much you can take, how you bounce back from the challenging and exhausting journey through your own mind and soul. Understanding yourself more and more every day but also having more questions you need answered just as fast. Im not asking for help but more so wanting to offer help, a new perseption for someone else to read maybe? I both baffle and amaze myself everyday with my strength and patience with myself because after all its all me even if a little broken. I just have to try to remember its ok to relax and let go i have a great support team whos been through alot with me and will always try to do whats best for me if for some reason i cant make that call myself. That I dont have to feel guilt for not remembering things that just happened or for repeating things I don’t realize I already said. I know sometimes I feel alone with these strange feelings and thoughts but I’m not, we just don’t always know how to explain things so deep in our head. Can’t always get those words out. So for people who can’t get those words out here’s my story to tell you you’re not alone either. And to be strong.

    • Thanks so much for sharing your story, Andrea. I love how you’re able to see beauty even in the midst of your fears. And how you have a “tribe” of people to support you. Thanks again for sharing and being a beacon of hope to others!

      • People say that it’s great that I’m doing so well and that I stay positive and I agree it is. But sometimes I don’t understand how I do it. How I find the strength to keep getting back up. I’ve been in the mental hospital 7 times since about age 21 and I’m only 24! Usually only about 2 week stays at a time. I’ve had so many diagnosis and DID is the only one I’ve been given that ever fit. But because each doctor has there own belief and hasn’t really spent that much time with me sometimes I question what’s really “wrong” with me. The ones who spent the most time with me are the ones who said it was DID. The other ones either don’t believe in DID or don’t believe I have DID because it is so “rare” and I hold myself together so well. I really wanna bring people hope because if I don’t what’s the point in this all for me to struggle silently? I have it planned today to find a new doctor because my last one stopped seeing me because I missed one too many appointments. I don’t mean to miss appointments tho. Something always comes up whether it be no transportation because I’m scared to drive or just not remembering. Whatever the case he’s not the first doctor to stop seeing me and I guess that’s my fault I just thought I’d find a more understanding doctor. I don’t want special treatment I just want the right treatment. I live in an area where DID is not commonly diagnosed and most doctors here don’t have much experience with it aside from what they teach in college psychology classes. I don’t know maybe I’m complaining too much or just think too much but I feel like I should be given more of a chance. How can a put on such a convincing face that I slip through the cracks of every doctor I go to? I know these aren’t your questions to answer and you don’t have to I just thought it might be nice to get some of my thoughts out. Thanks for letting me rant.

        • I think it’s your courage and inner strength that keeps you going, Andrea. I find that people who endure what you have and still choose to persevere are truly remarkable. Even as life – and you – can be messy and chaotic and up and down. It’s your ability to see beauty in your cracks, the hope in your imperfections and the grace in your mess ups. And thank you for taking the time to post a bit of your story. I think this quote from Henri Nouwen says it all, “healing begins with taking your pain out of its diabolical isolation and seeing that whatever we suffer, we suffer in communion with all of humanity, and yes, all of creation.” It’s choosing to reach out and share our stories with caring others that healing begins.

  6. I am so thankful I found this site. I’m exhausted. I realized at about the age of 58 that I have DID, and I have worked through so much. I am 65, and I am still working on my stuff. I just started seeing a new therapist for EMDR, and I hope it helps me. I still feel so lonely. No one in my life has any idea that I have DID, and that feels so lonely. I just can’t tell my kids or my siblings. I function (at least from the outside) at a level that people can tell I have severe anxiety, but they have no idea what’s going on with all the switching.

    • Yes, DID is something that very few people understand and so it can feel incredibly lonely and isolating. And the sheer level of self control you have to exercise to manage (and try to hide) your shifting is exhausting. But I’m glad you’re continuing on your journey of healing as it’s so important. EMDR is a wonderful and highly effective treatment protocol for trauma recovery, so I’m glad you’re pursuing that. It’s also important that your therapist understands and has experience with DID, so that you remain as safe as possible during your healing journey. If your therapist hasn’t already mentioned this, he/she will want to work on stabilization with you first, to ensure that you have the skills and resilience to tolerate distress as you face the pain of your trauma. Take your time as you work through this – I know it seems like such a long journey, but in my experience, is best if you go slow and be gentle with yourself to balance healing with your safety and stability. Thanks for reaching out!

  7. I’ve been diagnosed D.I.D/M.P.D 20 years ago at age 13.
    I was treated for 2 years and learned a lot about my other parts and had many abreactions of abuse.
    I never completed therapy after 2 years and now have found a Psychologist who has some training with dissociation and hope to start my journey of healing.
    She wants to work on “stabilizing ” me but I’m unsure how she plans on that?
    I don’t see anything wrong except my anxiety and depression.
    Any suggestions?

    • Hi Marianne, I’m really glad to hear that you’re continuing your journey of healing and have found a psychologist who’s got some experience in treating DID. As you likely experienced as a teenager, when you begin to face your pain, there can be intense emotions and traumatic memories that get stirred up, so when your therapist talks about stabilization, she wants to make sure that you have the tools and resilience to handle it if you abreact or experience intense emotions that can feel out of control. DID is often rooted in trauma and while the predominant experiences are depression and anxiety (and often panic disorder), those are many times an outward expression of unresolved trauma. So your therapist wants you to be as safe as possible before working on trauma recovery. That’s likely what she means by stabilization. It’s the strengthening and resource building before you face the trauma, to ensure that you come out of the therapy stronger and wiser. All the best while you continue your journey of healing!

  8. My step daughter has DID brought on by Complex PTSD due to a narcissistic mother and a sexual assault by a family member at the age of 18 … she sees a therapist but switches almost immediately when he begins asking difficult questions … she self harms when one of her more violent alters comes out … then when she comes back and sees the marks she switches because they are ugly so it’s kind of a circle where no one wins … I sleep in her room at night on a couch blocking the door because she will walk around while she isn’t herself and we are worried she might leave the house. I try to stay up all night to watch her so I can help her stay safe but I can only stay awake for about 40 hours before my body demands sleep. As a result as soon as I am sleeping the violent alter comes out and starts hacking away … we try to keep everything sharp away from her but it’s hard to catch everything …. she once found a tack and hid it under the back side of the base board in the bathroom… she has taken paintings down in the house and removed the screws then put the paintings back … I only found that out because the 6 year old alter ratted her out … I need to know what to do to stop this behavior because it is very upsetting for her … we used to have a journal that everyone could write in and they were all journaling but then her sister stole the journal and read it so now they won’t write in it … any ideas would be greatly appreciated.

    • All parts of her need to know it’s one body and when the self destructive alter thinks she is hurting the host- she is also hurting herself.
      2) the original trauma needs to be addressed- that was in past and can’t hurt her anymore.
      She doesn’t need to protect.
      She can nurture too and most likely the protected endured some abuse too.
      They all need to talk about why they hurt and learn constructive ways to cope with pain.
      Instead of cutting.
      Artwork, exercise take deep breaths, go for walks. Journal and keep it locked up??
      All the best.
      I’m D.I.D and have had some successful treatment as a teen.
      I’m again in therapy for anxiety and depression.
      It’s a hard battle but I’m sure in the end there will be some relief.
      God Bless her and keep her safe.
      All the best,
      Marianne.Shalkowsky
      Edmonton,Alberta/Canada
      (780) 619-9880

      • Thank you for your help … I appreciate all that I can get 🙃

    • Hi, Andrea, it sounds like it’s been a tremendously challenging time for you and your family, and especially your step-daughter. Is she getting professional help from a qualified therapist who has experience treating DID? This is a complex situation that requires consistent, experienced and compassionate care that is far beyond the family to manage. My concern for you is that you cannot police your stepdaughter. While you may be keeping her safe in the immediate term, this is not sustainable, nor is it changing the deep-seated trauma and pain that drives her to self-harm. At this point, if she cannot be left alone without the violent response, then she may need to be in a treatment centre or in-patient program that has the staff and structure to monitor her and keep her safe but also work towards stabilization and eventually treatment of her underlying trauma and integration of her parts. If she refuses this type of care (fear can be a huge factor in her resistance), you may have no choice but to call a crisis team to your home to assess her and give you and your family guidance on what you can do to support her and give you information on resources and supports for you as her family. Your local hospital should have information about crisis supports. My heart goes out to all of you and I pray you get the care and support you all need. Please feel free to email me privately if you’d like to chat further and explore different options for treatment.

      • She is seeing a very good therapist 4 times per week and her psychiatrist every two weeks and she is switching less during the day now but she is still hurting herself at night … I haven’t slept since Wed morning because I’m desperate to figure out how she is doing it . Her therapist told me that I have two weeks to work with her to get her to stop hurting herself and then he will recommend hospitalization… can you give me things to look for … she is not aware that she is doing this … she just comes to me in tears and says ” I think I did it again” she is so distraught about it … the other alters are telling me that the destructive alter won’t let them help or talk and so they can’t help her… but when she is herself she doesn’t want to hurt herself … but when she switches she does… there is also an alter thatvwants to kill my youngest daughter 14 … Marisa let the abuse happen to her if the abuser would agree not to go after her little sister and now I’m afraid there is some hidden resentment that has caused this new one .. the new alter told my 14 year old that it was going to kill her then said no that’s too easy ” I’m going to just stab you lots of times” … Do you think that the new alter would really hurt her ??? Should I be worried about the 14 year old safety ???

        • Hello I am a Social Worker and also have DID. So I have some specialized understanding of trauma and personal experience. The angry alters usually need to be told that it is not their fault they were hurt. Also sometimes alters can be very angry at themselves for switching and being forced to take the rape or abuse. Let them know that they have all experienced the pain and are still struggling. It was not that particular parts fault and she did nothing wrong. Also it is helpful to hear that Jesus loves them and will want to help them heal. Children love to hear about God and how he does not blame them for what happened.
          Yes you should be worried about that part of her threatening your daughter, not that i ever harmed anyone when i was that angry but i also don’t remember threatening anyone either. Reassuring them that they are loved and you do not want her to get hurt is important. I wonder if its not resentment it may be self-protection for some reason she was triggered by the 14 year old and wants to take her anger out on her. She also may be confused from switching and thinks the 14 year old did something to her. Reminders always help because not all parts are present at the time you tell them something. I hope this is helpful. You are awsome for caring so much about her and taking care of her. God bless you immensely.

          • She is doing so much better now … at first she was fighting treatment and fighting sleep and so her docs felt it was best that she be hospitalized for the safety of my youngest but we got to the hospital and they showed us to a tiny room and said a nurse will be in shortly to take vitals… then forgot about us .. we waited for 2 hours then tried to leave to find out what was us when we realized we were locked in so I knocked till someone came to help … turns out the receptionist that showed us back forgot tell anyone … needless to say we bolted .. but surprisingly she immediately started engaging in her own recovery and three days later is going a lot better … thank you so much for your help … we aren’t over the hill yet but it feels like I’m not carrying her anymore.

  9. I was diagnosis with DID when I was 12 I’m 21 now. Right after i was diagnosis my father took me out of counseling because he said that no body was going to talk about him because he has a crazy daughter. Any way I recently had to give my two kids up for adoption because I couldn’t handle the idea of what if they took control and hurt my babies. I have “awoken to letters from them and dinner cooked. They do things I can’t remember and they come out when I’m with my fiancée and he says we have had conversations that I do not remember its scary i just don’t know what to do i got fired from a job i loved because one of them harassed my boss. I do not know what to do or where to go for help i just need help. I can hear them in my head all the time and in the letters they say there is 19 of them and they just want to protect me. I’m worried I have no one to talk to my family had disowned me and I have no friends and I don’t want to scare my fiancée off CAN YOU HELP ME PLEASE…….

    • It’s very sad that children’s services didn’t offer you support in home parent Aide or respite services.
      And that you felt you had to give your kids up for adoption.
      I feel you must get yourself admitted to a hospital if your in that much Crisis and get on some medication to calm you or stabilize your moods.
      Finding a reputable psychologist or counsellor who treats DID would help.
      Write in a journal and have all your partswrite their names and opinions and open up communication and find out what is bothering them.
      Work together.
      This is what helped me.
      Ps/ persons,places or things that trigger you including abusive or min supportive family members need to be cut out of your life- so you can heal.
      That’s from my experience in recovery bothad
      Addiction and mental health I’m speaking of.
      Thank you and wish you all the best!

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